Assalamualaikum,

It was raining most of the time; the most unsuitable day to go to Namsan Tower but we proceeded, hoping that the rain will stop when we arrived there. Guess we were wrong, but we still braved ourselves and went through the freezing winter cold to Myeongdong station. Upon exiting, we noticed the free shuttle bus to N Seoul Tower's cable car and we thought, "Why not?" Majority were Korean in the bus anyway, so it doesn't really give us the 'we-are-on-a-trip' feel.

I didn't take pictures of us in the cable car because the glass at my side were foggy, no use of taking pictures as we couldn't really see the beautiful scenery outside. We didn't get to enter the observatory because of the weather, teddy bear museum was closed, and all left was the pad locks thingy. We entered a cafe since I wanted to try churros (yummy I want more!) while Imanina went to find her padlocks. The rain poured heavier while we were in the cafe and it stopped for a few while before it rained again.

We spent some time to take pictures and put our padlocks there before we went back to the cable car station. We stopped at the odeng and twisted fried potato stall where EXO visited in EXO Showtime. I bought odeng while Imanina bought the twisted fried potato. Ohh the heat from odeng's soup managed to warm up my frozen fingers. It was delicious too.

We took the same bus to go back to the subway station and it's time to search for proper meal! We hardly eat rice on day 2, so it's time to consume carbs again. We made way to go to Heuksando (흑산도), a seafood restaurant. Turned out it is located right next to the noraebang we went on first day! Haha such coincidence. We ordered mackerel stew (고등어 조림) and wow, the soup does taste like asam pedas! We ordered seafood pajeon too.

We then went to Dongdaemun and Namdaemun. Guess what? Yep, shopping time. We were like curious explorers, we didn't really follow the exact directions given. We explore by ourselves, which explains why I hardly give direction to go to certain places. While at Dongdaemun, we found Cheonggyecheon Stream by accident so, photo time.

We're not at the beginning of the stream so it explains the ugly and plain impression. I managed to buy a pair of boots that I've been talking about for days and finally bought one, hehe. Original price was 29,000 won, so I asked for 20,000 won. I won the bargain, but was cheated as the ahjumma gave me the pair of shoes 1 size smaller than mine. How dare you! Luckily it fits, just not comfortable enough for me to wear it in a long period.

Namdaemun really is a place to shop. Just need to find good places with cheap prices. I bought t-shirts for my brothers at this shop and they were more expensive than other shops that sell t-shirt but I tell you why: the material is super comfortable. I bought a t-shirt from regular stall that sells common designs and three t-shirt from the expensive shop. My brother loved the expensive one as it's comfier compared to the other one. For me, it's okay to spend a little more for quality as long as it's not a burden to you.

We bought mostly souvenirs for our friends and family there and yep, our hands were full of plastic bags. Since we were so tired because of the non-stop walking on day 2, we went back to our hostel quite early and spent our times by watching tv and chit-chatting. 

*entry for day 4 and 5 will be updated soon!

Assalamualaikum.

It's the first post for year 2014. I started the new year with new life - being single, having my heart wearing a thick layer of steel armour, getting a super bad news for me regarding my diploma studies, and is harassed by an ex who came back after 6 years. 2014 doesn't really start with good news for me, but at least, I am blessed to have those people who still stick around me even when I'm not at my best state. Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah for letting me to know them in my life.

Being single? Unfortunately, it's hard to have a happily-ever-after life especially if you dreamed about it when you're madly and happily in love. Right after we part ways, I've read many Twitter updates that relationships that made you anticipate for your significant other to change will absolutely fail. Why? Being in love means to accept the person just the way they are. Humans are imperfect, and it's okay to correct some of his/her mistakes but to expect him/her to immediately change to that imaginary person with criteria that you like is... impossible.

That's the big mistake I did, or should I say, we did. He expects me to be the girl he likes, and I expect him to be the man I adore. This is why love stories, love novels, porn, etc ruin most relationships. People want something that is unreachable, that only exist in fantasy. All those lovey dovey stuffs you see in movies are hardly seen in real life. It exists but is so rare that you won't be able to witness it by yourself. Hitting back on the expecting to change point, yes, I agree that expecting your significant other to be pious is good but, expecting him/her to be the exact same thing like your imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend is... a big bucket full of nope.

So now, after being hurt and surprisingly not crying after being left by the guy that I seriously think he's the man, I'm moving on. Come on, 3 years of being single and you're doing just fine, Hakimah. You surely can do better now :) I know, it hurts to finally open your heart for someone, let him in and showers him with love, suddenly, he changed. Everything's changed. He doesn't love you, you fight for the relationship, but it failed because it's all one-sided. Sad, hurt, tired, your heart slowly close its gate and is now locked and the key is thrown away, hoping a fine gentleman will find the key and unlock it in the future.

And being harassed and forced to accept an ex after 6 years of not contacting makes it harder for me who just underwent a break up. Weeks passed, I then agreed with my stupid self to try to accept the ex. But I gave no effort in trying to let him in, I want him to do all the magic to reopen my locked heart. Guess what? Last night he totally screw his final chance. I bid my final goodbye to him and asked him to not put high hopes on me any more.

During my mid-sem break, I've a small chat with my PA regarding my grades and all. I will finish my diploma not this semester, but another semester since I will have to do my LI. And I asked if I'm able to continue my degree in UiTM but he said no... because I was barred for a paper last semester and now my future seems extremely dark. My family couldn't afford to send me to a private university, nor I have enough money to pay for myself. Calculating alone, I decided to work for at least 6 months up to 1 year before I finally continue with degree.

2014, and I'm losing the bright and cheerful self. Here in Arau, I live in a rent house full of degree students and my friends are all in residence college. I go to class alone, eat alone, walk alone... I practically live alone. I talk less now, as I have no one to talk to. I smile less now, as I only spend my time with my laptop and phone. Slowly, I'm showing signs of depression. And when I'm depressed, I push all people away, I cut connections, including my parents. It's okay, I have Allah. He can listen to everything that I've been keeping inside my heart.

So, my 2014 resolutions are;

to be closer to Allah,

to be a good daughter,

to earn good money,

to live happily, and

to find my husband-to-be.

2014 started off pretty bad, but I hope it will end with good stuffs, insyaAllah. I know I'm strong, I know I can go through this. No more hurting self, no more deserting self, no more ignoring friends, no more keeping everything to myself. Oh, I hope by the end of 2014, I managed to shed 15kg and look stunning. InsyaAllah.

I don't know why, and I don't know how, but it has been since before, since back then, from 2am until 6am, is my peak hour of missing you. That feeling came without being called. I just... I just miss you for no reason. Being the nocturnal me, staying up all night; trying to do other things but ended up feeling a bit lonely. Did you cast a spell on me? Why do I have you all over my mind, each night, each hour, each minute and each fucking second I tried to live my life normally?

I love you, yes, and I know you love me too. We're separated by almost 500km! How can I meet you whenever I want to? You're from north of Malaysia but was thrown to south of Malaysia for study while I, who proudly came from south, went to north of Malaysia to study. So it's like, you're coming to my place when I'm going to (well actually, passing by) your place and it became a darn routine.

This is sick.

Lovesick is sick, okay, I've had enough of lovesick.

But actually I'm a bit grateful that somehow you came here (to meet your friends, of course, you love them more, don't you?) and decided to meet me as well. I felt grateful that you still want to spend your time with me, even if you're dead tired on that day. I'm sorry to be so demanding, wanting to meet you so badly, without giving fucks about how you'd feel. Nah, you're actually happy that you got to meet me too, right? :P

Suddenly feeling so hungry so I uploaded the evidence I ate McD during my journey to Alor Setar. I'm going to stare at this picture (stolen from my own instagram hahahaha how shameless is that) and think how terrible a Prosperity burger tastes like. Seriously, kids, Prosperity burger can never beat the glorious double cheese burger! Never!