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Pastel Fantasies

"Yo what's up? How's your day? How's school? How's everything?"


Okay here's what's up. I have to create a fully functional website (html and php stuffs) and it was awesomely awful. It sucks. What is group assignment when it was done by less than half out of the number of members in the group. That was the screenshot of the main page of the site and honestly, I can't fully credit myself for it. I stole someone's code. Because, we had to. Emergency happened and we're at lost so yeah. But anyway I edited most of them so they shouldn't look the exact same as the original.

It's not like I'm complaining that I have to code. No, I have no problems with that. I love to code. It's fun and everything but here's come the minus point. Why and how can I code the whole section (there are 2 sections, actually) alone by myself without any help from you guys oh yes I do need to complain because this is about my life about my health about my brain power and um no I hate to do other people's job. Please contribute and please offer your help. I don't want to be bossy and say "You, do this and you do that while you need to plan for this."

And then came another shitty major assignment that has nothing to do with my course. I wonder why UiTM is being so stupid and let us to study on few subjects that has no relation to our courses like seriously, UiTM, you suck to the max. You want to help the Malays so it's good but um please, re-revise your policy or whatever since I feel so jealous towards friends who're studying in IPTS and they learned advanced programming stuffs from us? We learnt the most basic ones which, well, from their point of view, is such a waste of time.

To enroll in UiTM for degree is the last option in my list. Serious talk.

--

My head suddenly hurts so much I had to lie down and close my eyes to chase the pain away. This isn't good. I've been getting constant headache for days now and I don't think I'll recover soon enough? I sleep too little per day. 2~3 hours of sleep per day is unhealthy for a teen like me. Wait, do I still counted as a teen or am I already in the adult phase? I don't know. Never bother to know about it. Well okay I acknowledged that I am an adult. Hm. I can't think, I should stop. Bye.

P/S: I still like the guy and things are going pretty much well :)
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I like this guy so much and it is insane. This love is so pure. So innocent. So childish.
I feel like a 14-year-old experiencing her first puppy love.
I feel like a 14-year-old innocently admiring some famous dudes in her school.
I feel... young. #omg this is b*llshit

Fact #1
Instead of saying "okay, dear" he said "okay, rusa" to me.
Being shy while trying giving me a faint hint, eh?

T/N: Rusa is deer in English. Deer holds the same pronunciation as dear.

<------------------------------------------------------------------>

Fact #2
Stays up all night because he knew that someone will accompany him.
Hint: sawadee "you"

You as in yours truly who's typing this.

<------------------------------------------------------------------>

Fact #3
Me: Aww this emoticon is so cute, I want to pinch its cheek!
Him: Ouch, my cheek hurts. It's like someone pinched me
Me: So you think you're cute ah?
Him: I don't know. Your answer?

...yes.

<------------------------------------------------------------------>

#tobeupdatedsoon
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Hey, it's officially 10 days after my birthday. It was the 2nd worst birthday I had in my life. Nothing can beat last year's birthday. It was the worst out of everything. Skip that because I wanted to update with what's happening with my life from the day I turned 20 till today.

7th of July, Sunday
It's my big day, yayyy but I spent most of the time being in the library with my friends, pretending to study since I've finished all my works beforehand. I was really hungry that day because the previous day, I only ate burger bakar. The rest ordered delicious chicken rice but I only ordered iced tea. Spent some good time laughing with friends about stupid stuffs while accompanying them finishing their lunch. Then, we went back to the library. I was watching Happy Camp and laughed alone in the discussion room haha. Around 3pm, I received a text, asking me to go for a sweet escape. Well, it is indeed a sweet escape since we both went to Secret Recipe.

"My treat," he said, since it's my birthday. I ordered a slice of New York cheesecake while he ordered this grilled chicken I forgot the dish's full name haha but it's delicious :( I was a tad shy to order expensive stuffs because it's his money. Not mine. But it was fun, to have someone trying to cheer me up on that gloomy day. That was the only fun moment for the day because I spent the rest of the day being alone at home without foods. It was depressing. It should be my best day but why it turned the other way round?

8th of July, Monday
Class as usual. I ate the foods they brought back from baby Hafiz's birthday party for lunch. It was delicious or maybe because I was too hungry, I ate 2 plates of rice haha. Things went okay... but not during ITS first test ever. It was at night and I felt something wrong with my body. My stomach hurts so much and due to my experience, I knew it'll be bad. After answering the test with empty-headed (means no ilmu lol) we went back home and... yep. I knew it. Food poisoning.

Wasn't a good start for the week, huh? Okay so basically I was in pain because of food poisoning until Friday, which made me to decide to go back home on that day.

12th of July, Friday
My bus was on 10am and since I stayed up all night in the toilet, I was totally knocked out. I slept like it's none of their business. I do not care if I snore or anything. What's important is I have enough sleep before I reach home. I reached Section 17 around 6.30pm, but because my dad was stuck in traffic jam, I reached home after azan maghrib. But still managed to iftar together with family. What makes it special is, my brother in Segamat went back home too. It's beautiful because one whole family were there for iftar and sahur. :')

I did nothing much at home though so skip all schedules at home.

15th of July, Monday
My bus was supposed to depart on 10pm but because of certain circumstances, it was delayed to 11pm not to mention its '30-min break' which literally means "It's 2.30am so we'll have a break for 30 minutes which is until 3.45am" yes the driver can do math really well. Yes.... Anyhow since it was delayed, I asked for McD from my parents and they brought me double cheeseburger aherherher #happygirl93

16th of July, Tuesday
Because of too many stops, I arrived Kangar at 7:35am. Took a taxi home and because the driver didn't know where is Taman Seri Intan situated at and maybe he took advantage for it by going into the wrong direction though I guided him, I was charged RM25.................. Seriously, taxi drivers, NAK DUIT KAU CARI DUIT SECARA HALAL LAH TAK PAYAH NAK TIPU CUSTOMER SAMPAI TAHAP NI AKU NI STUDENT KAU NAK MAKAN DUIT AKU BANYAK SANGAT KENAPA? KAU INGAT AKU NI KAYA? AKU NI BERHUTANG DENGAN ORANG TAH BERAPA BANYAK. BANGANG PUNYA TAXI DRIVERS

Because I stayed awake since 4am in the bus worrying about someone, I felt asleep while trying to get ready for the next class pfft brilliant Kimmy is brilliant I should just die

---

Anyhow, I am confused. I think I like someone. I think I fell for him. But I'm trying to fall out of love. I don't want to be in love. I don't want to be fooled. I am afraid that he's nice to me because he only sees me as a best friend while I see it the other way round. I really want to distance myself from him but I can't. We talk to each other every day. Night and day. It's like I wake up and feel excited because I know I will be receiving a text from him.

You know how I rarely talk to people in a day??? I think I only talk to him for the past week or two-three weeks I don't know but yes. Please. Pull me out from this mess. I know he sees me as a friend. This is just one-sided love. I know. I believed so. I don't think anyone will ever fall for me. Well, not now since guys look for appearance and I am fat which means I am unattractive so please.

Baru putus cinta suddenly jumpa new love I know this is absurd but

my parents love him so how?
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July 2nd - I decided to skip 2 classes to prepare myself for MUET speaking test and by preparing, I mean, to get enough sleep like a princess. It was written on the slip that my test will be at 11 A.M but oh, I only knew that all tests will start at least 30 minutes after the stated time on the slip after I arrived at the venue. That's the effect of not going to any MUET workshops. I decided to take my MUET at a school which is situated near to my rent house.


I was the second candidate of the first group for my session. Well, supposedly the third candidate but the first candidate couldn't make it on time so we started from the second people in the name list. It was nerve-wrecking when I knew I will be in the first group, but while waiting for it to start, I managed to calm myself and gained extra confidence by simply... Emm, I do not know if I should say this but somehow this technique worked well for me? I decided to look down on other candidates - to make myself looked better - and I felt somewhat confident to delusionally think that I am the best out of them.

We got a quite boring topic; "Most meaningful donation" haha but thankfully I get the easiest point to elaborate, I guess? There are 4 points - organ donation, cash donation, free foods for the poor and equipment for the disabled. Mine was the second point - cash donation - the poison of today's world. I am firm on my opinions and point and managed to conclude that my point is the most meaningful donation out of all, haha. Okay actually it was horrible. I spoke like a somewhat-innocent-yet-scared person being interrogated by policemen.

My test ended on 12 P.M and to reward myself after "working hard" (yeah, really, when I woke up at 10 A.M then rushed for the test) I bought KFC for myself! I long for McDonalds but I will never go to Alor Setar by my own to get it so I have to find other alternatives. I stayed at home, being a lazy fat girl who only knows to be in front of her laptop either to watch a drama or a show. By 2.20 P.M, I received a text saying that I am a possible candidate for gugur taraf and I was like "What the--- I did not pay the UiTM fee yet!" so I rushed to UiTM wearing the ugliest thing I have in this cupboard. I do not care about how I look outside, especially on those moments when I feel lazy to be all pretty and dandy.

After paying the fee, I decided to go for a karaoke session. I know, crazy unplanned plan. I went to the karaoke place alone and had a 1-hour session of karaoke. I, of course, sang mainly Korean songs. I always feel less active if I went to karaoke alone, so I decided to sing slow songs like INFINITE's Paradise. Maybe the guys next door realized I only sing Korean songs, they decided to sing PSY's Gentleman, so I decided to fire them back by singing Faizal Tahir's Sampai Syurga. Hahaha.

Oh, it was actually about to start to rain when I arrived at the karaoke place and so in the middle of singing, it started to rain. I thought the rain would not be for long or too heavy since this is Arau. It usually rains for like, 5 minutes then stopped for weeks. But oh wow, to my surprise, it was the heaviest downpour I had to go through while driving. Seriously. I love to drive in rain but for the first time ever, I found it annoying to drive in heavy rain like that. I barely could see anything! But, despite the heavy downpour, I made my way to Kangar to get some cheesecakes. Hehe. I do not think I will get any cakes on my birthday so I decided to buy it ealier for myself, :P


So... that is how my day goes for the second day of the seventh month. The fact that I used a few words I rarely use everywhere is in this post... was this because of MUET? Look at how long this post is (minus the pictures, it is still long) it's like I was inspired by something to write a new blog post. Or was it because it is already July and I feel happy because it is, you know, July? Haha ways to confuse myself. I really should write more and more for this blog. I really feel calm whenever I write while listening to songs. It's like, I feel I am in the song, going for an adventure and write about what I get from the adventure. It is weird too since the things I write and the lyrics of the songs I listen to do not match well. 

By the way, I watched Psychometry just now. It was a really great Korean movie about an ability that can see the past by having a physical contact on an unknown objects. At first, I thought that he could only read human's past, but I was wrong. He could see everything by touching, everything. If he touched a bird, he saw what the bird saw. If he touched an object, he saw what the object witnessed. Yeah I know, how can a non-living object be a witness but with his ability, he could see what it see. Of course, you are not perfect. He has flaws, which, he uses too much energy to see the past and it made he bleeds from his nose and mouth. Horrible, which is why he avoids to touch anything.


So the screencap above is a scene in Psychometry, which a policemen tried to grab a suspect by grabbing his........ you know what. Anyhow, it is a good movie and you will not disappoint with its plot. Sadly though, there is no English subtitles available for it. Luckily I understood few Korean words so watching it raw without subs is okay but, it will be way better to fully understand the movie, no?

Movie recommendation of the day: Psychometry (literal translation) / The Gifted Hands
Song recommendation of the day: ChoColat - Black Tinkerbell
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About Me


Kimmy. 1993. Travel & Language.
I am tying to write in various perspectives instead of spilling the inner emo self. I have the tendency to end a post negatively, please take note.

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